What I Want Every Woman to Know About Egg Donation

In the almost two decades I have worked in the infertility field, I have counseled more hundreds (or is it thousands?) of prospective moms considering egg donation. Egg donation is a huge step for them. Many are professional women who always have been able to take control of their work and personal lives. Then infertility reared its ugly head. Not only have they undergone the emotional roller coaster of infertility treatment, but now they are looking for another woman – an egg donor – to provide the genetic material for their future child.

So here are a few lessons I have learned over the years. Hopefully, my ‘what I wish I knew then that I know now’ moments can help you as you pursue your dream of motherhood.

Everyone mourns at her own pace

This is a big one. Even if you have decided that egg donation is the right choice for you, not being able to use your own eggs to create your child is still a significant loss. Everyone deals with grief and emotions differently. There is no road manual that says you must resolve your feelings by a certain date. You can simultaneously be excited about choosing egg donation while also being wistful about losing the genetic connection.

At the end of the day, a healthy baby is what matters

Genetics can seem like a roulette game when egg and sperm meet to create an embryo. There is no guarantee that your baby would have gotten your nose or your partner’s hair color or even looked anything like the two of you. The most important trait any child can have is good health. Focusing your search on a healthy egg donor with a good family medical history can be key to ensuring your baby will have a healthy life.

Now with egg donation, you can go a step further. New technologies, such as what we offer with Genepeeks through Virtual Progeny Analysis (VPA), can  predict future disease risk with a high degree of accuracy.   

You already are making decisions like a mother

Even before you see the two pink lines and experience the highs and lows of pregnancy and childbirth, you are making decisions like a mother. In selecting your egg donor, you are taking into consideration many factors that will help you determine the best donor for you and your partner. At the end of the day, you will do what is right for your baby and your family, just like you will do all during your pregnancy and every day of your child’s life.