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Coping with Infertility Starts with Caring Communication

Posted on: 15 May, 2018

We all struggle with discussing sensitive topics, and couples who are dealing with infertility may hear all the wrong things when they start to open up about their experiences and frustrations. Understanding the rigorous screening process and the requirements to donate your eggs will help you feel more comfortable discussing treatment options with your partner and other family members.

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Here’s how to kick-start the right conversations:

Keep Communication Open with Your Partner

Deciding to pursue fertility treatment and the process itself can unite a couple working toward a dream they share. The common goal of having a child is motivating and can make awkward situations more easy to overcome and even laugh about.

That unity will be essential on this journey, so keep these points in mind:

1. It Is Not Anyone’s “Fault”

As a couple, if you’ve been trying for a year to conceive a child without success. It is time to look into the cause, as some physical conditions can be easily reversed once they are identified. However, new research shows that, while both men and women are equally likely to have a fertility obstacle, 40% of the time the cause is unexplainable.1

If, as a couple, you are unable to conceive, it is your challenge to be shared. Understanding the medical details is really only helpful when deciding which treatment options to pursue. Don’t let your partner feel he or she is at fault or blame yourself. Discuss your fertility issue as the shared obstacle it is and focus on how it can be overcome.

2. You Can Decide Together How Much to Share

On the one hand, your focus is on your goal 24/7 and the desire to share your thoughts with friends and family is a natural part of leaning on your support network. The challenges arise because those we share with may not know how to respond appropriately.

To be fair, the topic may make others nervous, and nervous people say silly things sometimes.

Things Not to Say to Couples Struggling with Infertility:

  • Telling the couple to “just relax.”
  • Expressing religious or cultural concerns about infertility treatments.
  • Offering uninvited advice, especially sexual advice, sometimes with hurtful connotations.
  • Suggesting that some higher power or fate has decided they should not have children.
  • Sending them artifacts, charms, home remedies, or fertility tokens without invitation.
  • Remaining insensitive to the couple’s feelings when talking about pregnancy and children.
  • Being overly sensitive to the couple’s feelings by avoiding talking about pregnancy and children.

Always the Right Response

What can we expect from our supportive friends and family? What should we say to our friends or family members who are coping with infertility?

“What can I do to help?”

Romantic Happy Couple On Beach At Sunset

Maybe someone to listen is all that we need, or maybe we need a ride to the clinic on Wednesday, but those who are close to us will want to help, so don’t be afraid to take someone up on an honest offer of support.

Choosing the Path Forward

There are many fertility treatments which address the obstacles and provide the perfect conditions for conception. In many situations, healthy donors can provide the answer to making your dream of starting a family a reality.

At The Donor Solution, we understand where you are now and how difficult it may be to talk about it. Reach out to us today. We can help you get the information and make the connections you need to get started on meaningful solutions tomorrow.


  1. https://www.cnn.com/2015/04/22/health/infertility-5-questions/index.html
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